I Can Do This...

Well hello there...

It's been nearly 3 months since I signed in on here. I had to think for a minute to remember my password. That's sad. There has been soooo much going on that I won't even attempt to tell it all. In summary, I got a new job (that has nothing to do with food!), Baileigh was turned into a 6-year-old prostitute by the groundskeeper of our apartment complex ("let me stick my finger in you and you can have a dollar"...ok, that's not really how it went down, but that's what it amounted to) and absolutely NOTHING has been done about it (and more than likely, nothing ever will). Adam Robinson is free to fondle children for the rest of his days. Goddess help our justice system! School has been going well and sucking ass at the same time (more on that later), and that's about it I guess. It doesn't really seem like a lot when I name it off like that, but all the little pieces of everything is a lot and that is why I'm not going to tell the whole stories. Moving right along...

I'm stressed. What's new, right? Thankfully, it's not the "I'm so stressed out, I don't know what to do, I hate my life, blah blah whaaae..." that I usually have going on. My mood is fine. Great, actually. I've been consistently happy. Weird huh?  Yeah, I think so too, but I'm definitely not complaining. I've had so much positive energy around and through me lately, that I feel physically uncomfortable when there's negativity. Like now. I can't really explain what it feels like, but I'll give it a shot.    It's like I'm full, like there's too much inside me, my body, like whatever is inside is pressing against the inner layer of my flesh and I might burst open from the pressure. It's not painful, though. Just really uncomfortable. Like I'm restless. Like I have an itch that I can't reach, only without the itch. You know when you can't get to that spot on your back and you're wriggling around and reaching and trying to find something to scratch it with...that feeling. That discomfort. I just need to find a quiet, peaceful spot outside somewhere and meditate. Deep cleansing breaths and whatnot.

My grades have been ok. I got an A in one class and a B in another. Those are the only two classes I've completed since my blogging absence. I'm in week 5 of my current class. Unfortunately, I haven't even finished my week 3 assignment, nor have I started on weeks 4 and 5 assignments. Behind much?  I know that schoolwork is the biggest aspect of my stress level. And normally, I'd be behind and stressing because I had been being a slacker and just not putting forth the effort. Now, however, it's not that I'm slacking; I just don't have time. "No time! There's never any time!!!" (If anyone can tell me what movie that came from, I'd really appreciate it. It's been driving me crazy because I've been saying that line several times a day and I can't figure out where I heard it. So if you happen to recognize it, please end my suffering and let me know. That'd be great. Thanks.)  I will admit that I have been able to play a game on the Wii here and there this past week. Now, before you start aha-ing and tsk tsk-ing, let me explain. The only reason I was able to play games is because the amount of time I had in which to do it was insufficient for academic use. 20 minutes here, 15 minutes there...hell, that's barely enough time to get the computer booted up. So I used the chunks of time that I was killing to do something useless and fun. I absolutely have to get it in gear for the rest of this week though. All assignments must be turned in by the deadline of week 5 (6pm this coming Monday) in order to be considered for credit. So I have 3 weeks' worth of work to do and 4 days to do it. I can do this...I may not sleep for those 4 days, but I can do it. And as the reader you may be thinking to yourself, "well you dumb bitch, shouldn't you be doing homework now instead of writing in your blog?"  Ah, but you see, writing in my blog eases tension and relieves stress, ridding my aura of some of the negativity that hinders my concentration. So the current writing is necessary for optimal studious performance.   So there.

Baseball/Softball season is upon us. Baseball is kind of a no biggie; we've done this twice before. But this year Bai decided she wants to play softball. So we have two practice times that overlap at seperate locations. Some of the games will be the same way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (or even a middle school drop-out) to understand the problem with that situation. It's gonna be a fun summer, folks!

I guess I'm good for now. I really, really, really want to write more often. Really. I doubt it'll happen. But the desire is there. Right now my plan for the weekend is to take the kids to the Opening Day ceremony at the ball park on Saturday, drop them off at their daddy's after that (by the way, William, can I drop the kids off with you after the Opening Day ceremony Saturday morning so that I can come home and do homework?  Thanks!) and come home and do homework. I'm going to get as much done as I can before then, of course, but all day Saturday will be my biggest chunk of uninterupted time. Hopefully I can get finished so that I don't have to pawn the little demons off on someone else Sunday. I can do this...

I can do this...
I can do this...
I can do this...
I can do this...
I can do this...
I can do this...

A little chanting never hurt anyone. Until next time (whenever the hell that'll be)...
Deuces!