This is who I am...

I just finished my Psy/390 class. This is the first class that I have gotten all my work in on time since....well, I don't even remember. I feel really good about it. I know I'm not going to be able to pull an 'A' because I did miss a day so that was 4 points. And then that same night I missed was a presentation so I lost 3 points for not actually presenting. I left early twice, 2 points each. So that's 11 all together there. I'll have a low 'B' but I'm okay with that because I know that the only reason my grade will be so low is attendance. It felt really good these past 5 weeks, not being stressed out all the time, not frantically trying to throw together some sorry excuse for an assignment because I waited until the last minute. I felt more like me. Not entirely, but more.

This class was also good for me in another way. We explored ourselves a little bit while studying different methods of therapy and I got a nice little reality check. Sort of. It's not that I was trying to overlook the reality or avoid it, I just honestly hadn't realized that the reality was so. It was pointed out to me that I still have a lot of overcoming to do. My instructor told me that I haven't been living my life; I've been surviving. And there is a difference. She asked me to define who I am. My answer was similar to most people's in my shoes, I'm sure.   I'm a Mother, a Friend, a Niece, a Partner, a Student...stuff like that. Then she pointed out that I am defining myself by my roles in my environment. I am attaching the stuff that affects me from the outside to who I am on the inside. And those are not the same. So I decided to define myself. As a person. Not as who I am to others, but as who I am to myself. This is an ongoing project that will, undoubtedly, last the rest of my life. That's because people change constantly and who I am will change too. For now though, this is who I am...

I am a Woman.

I am passionate about many things: learning, advancing, teaching; equal rights to United States Citizens; humane treatment of animals; empowering myself; empowering America's youth.

I am One with Nature, with Mother Earth and the Infinite and Eternal Powers that Be. I am in tune with myself and with both the energy that I elicit and also that which I recieve.

I am strong-minded, yet flexible. I am open to other views, but I stand by what makes sense and what I believe is just and good.

I am patriotic. I love the freedom that I am fortunate enough to enjoy and I acknowledge and appreciate the countless sacrifices that have been made to ensure that freedom.

I am forward. I believe in being as honest outwardly as I am in my own mind.

I am self-conscious, though what about changes depending on my mood.
     -my strength
     -my parenting
     -my intelligence
     -my emotions
     -my decisions

I am loud and boisturous.
I am confident.
I am friendly.
I am afraid.
I am lonely.
I am quiet and reserved.
I am irritable.
I can be several of these all at once.

I am a writer.

I am a singer.

I am a lover of an array of music and literature.

I am comfortable with myself, as I am...even if I am insecure and needy.

I am a contridiction to myself.

And I like it that way.


I love that I can express adoration and loathing in the same breath.
I'm beautiful when I cry. I'm beautiful, period. I'm beautiful inside and out, but I do have blemishes, inside and out.
I respect myself.
I love myself.
I am proud to be who I am.



The things that I would change about myself:

I need to be more patient with my kids.
I need to be more understanding of close-minded people.
I need to be less judgemental.
I need to be more motivated.

And I will be.


This is who I am.