Perverted Yankees and Other Ramblings

Howdy!  I'm feeing pretty relaxed. I'm sitting at work even though I've been off for 2 and a half hours. As hectic as things have been lately, it feels good to get some of it handled and wash my hands of the rest. I'm finally feeling good about the direction my life is going. I got my car fixed so I'm independently mobile. Tonight is the last night of my current class. I'm leaving Sub Depot. I'm making plans.

Last Friday I got into it with Curt really bad. Like worse than the first time. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was extremely hostile. I need to give a brief history of what led up to my explosion....Ever since Curt bought this store, he's made me very uncomfortable. He "squeezes" by me in spaces big enough for people to walk through without a problem. It happened a lot at first and I made comments about it loud enough for him to hear, hoping he'd take the hint. One day Heather saw him do it and she started bitching about it. After that, it stopped for a while. He still made me uncomfortable, but in less obvious ways. For example, he would reach across me to grab something instead of waiting for me to move or simply saying "excuse me."  Or hell, he could have just asked me to hand it to him. He did this often enough that I told him that he was "invading my territorial bubble" and asked him to watch his proximity. He said, and I quote, "get over it." Recently, he's started squeezing by again. He can have plenty of room to just slide by without touching me, but he rubs against me as he passes. And you know how when you go by someone and kind of grab their shoulders to get around them without being all up on them? He does that, but grabs my hips instead of my shoulders. It's been getting under my skin for a looong time and Friday I just snapped. He apparently thought I was upset about something because he approached me and put one arm around my back and the other hand on my shoulder and was trying to say something along the lines of "calm down" or "it'll be ok" or some shit. I didn't really hear what he said because when he did that, I backed away from him and, very sternly through clenched teeth, said "DON'T TOUCH  ME!" He looked all suprized and stepped into me so that his body was, literally, 3 inches from mine and started telling me that there was no reason to be snappy and blah blah blah...I, again, stepped back away from him and told him that wouldn't get snappy if he would stay out my personal space. His response? "I wasn't in your personal space." OMG! We continued to bicker for a few minutes and then he said, "we'll talk about this later," to which I responded "no, we won't."  He was standing directly behind me, each of us facing opposite directions, and he mumbled something under his breath. I turned to face him and said, "What?" and then he turned around to face me and said, "nothing" and I stayed looking him in the face and said, "EXACTLY."  We didn't speak to each for the rest of the day. I came in this morning (Monday) and the tension was palpable. We didn't speak all day today, but I was in a good mood and had a good day with the rest of the crew, cutting up and getting work done as usual. When 1:30 rolled around and I was getting my stuff ready to come sit in the dining room, I asked if I could talk to him for a second. We went into the office (I intentionally left the door open) and I told him that I just wanted to let him know that Friday would be my last day. He said "ok" and that was that.

I start my new job on July 2nd. I'm going to take the week in between to spend as much with the kids as I possibly can and get some much needed housework done. I want to take them swimming and play games with them. I want to read with them. I want to stay home with them forever and have fun with them and teach them things and hug them 40 times a day. I know I can't do all of that, but the swimming, games and reading are definitely going to happen. I miss them so much. I had to take them to Kim and Chew's again Sunday evening and they cried again, not wanting me to leave them. Oh, it breaks my heart. I imagine this is how most mothers feel when they have to leave their kids at daycare or a babysitter's house. I'm just not used to it because I was a stay-at-home-mom for so long and then even when I did start working, they just stayed at William's because there was always someone there to watch them. It's hard having to leave them somewhere they don't want to be. I just tell them that I wish I didn't have to leave them there and I'm sorry but I have to work and I'll miss them and I love them. I ask them to be strong and try to have a positive attitude. It's true that a positive attitude can change the way you experience a situation. If you're depressed and just think about how much something sucks and how you don't want to do it, it's going to be as bad as you think it will be. But if you try to approach it from the standpoint of knowing that it's temporary and pep yourself up to try to get through it in a decent mood, it won't be as bad as you think it will. That's what I'm going to do this last week here at Sub Depot.

Not that my last week here will totally suck. It will and it won't. It will suck because Curt will be here and I'm sure there will be tension. And it will suck because I'll know that it's the last week I'll be with the awesome people that I work with. And it will suck because I'll have to say good-bye to a lot of my favorite customers, and because I won't get to say good-bye to the ones that don't come in while I'm here this last week. At the same time, it won't suck because I have the relief of being free of Curt and his bullshit to look forward to. I'll make the most of the little bit of time I have with my friends here. And I'll be sure to make plans with them outside of work. It'll be ok. I'll be ok.

I must admit that I'm nervous about starting a new job. It never used to bother me. I changed jobs so much with a lot of spare time in between that I always looked forward to something new. I've been here for a year and 9 months, which really isn't long when you look at the big picture, but it's the longest I've ever worked anywhere, and I love this place. I love the people I work with, I love the customers, I love the job itself. I know this place like the back of my hand. I know everything about the menu, the order of priorities when there's a lot to do, what time this needs done and that needs done. This is kind of like home. It's where I'm comfortable. When I start this new place, I'm going to have to learn everything about it. And I feel like it's going to take forever for me to feel as comfortable there as I do here. I'm worried that I won't like the people, that I won't pick up on the routine. But really, who am I kidding? I can get along with pretty much anyone. I'm social when I need to be. And what's the chance that I'll have trouble picking up on anything? I'm a quick learner and I'm smart. I can do this. I can do anything I put my mind to.

Ok, I'm done with my little self pep talk.

Jacob got his meds. I called EFC and left a message for Edith. She couldn't call in a prescription because of the type of medication it is, but she did write it and leave it at the desk so William could pick it up. She wrote 3 months worth. I love that place. I wish I could go see Gayla. I don't know why. I don't really feel like I need therapy right now. I'm in a good place within myself. I just like going to talk to her. It's like hanging out with an old friend. I do think Jacob could benefit from visiting with her though. He seems slightly depressed. I don't know how depression manifests itself in children so maybe I'm reading it wrong. He just seems different. As long as he's distracted with something fun, he's fine. But the minute he has nothing to do, he's down. He sighs and when I ask him what's wrong, he just says "I don't know." A lot of times he attributes it to boredom. And maybe that really is all that's wrong. Still, I'd feel better if he could talk to Gayla. That's another thing I'm looking forward to at my new job... bigger paychecks. I should be able to slowly pay EFC off and start sending him again.

Oh, how about my phone broke! A few months ago, there was a little cooler sitting on the end table by the couch that we just never dumped the water out of and put away. Well, it has a little flap on the top that velcros shut for easy access without unzipping it. Bella's stupid ass liked to lay on that little cooler and she kept falling through the flap so she'd get up and move, only to come lay back down on it again later. My stupid ass left my phone laying on it one night and Bella climbed up and took her usual perch on top of it. Suprize, suprize, she fell through the flap, and so did my phone. I didn't even realize it had happened, but Heather was laughing at Bella because as soon as she hit the water, she jumped up and took off running. When I asked what was so funny and Heather told me, I realized that I had left my phone laying there. So "oh shit!" I jump up and get my phone out of the cooler, where it had been submerged for at least a whole minute. Heather took the battery out and we let it dry out over night and it worked fine. Well the other day, I dropped it (for the 10,000th time) and it made a weird static sound and shut off, never to turn on again. I tried taking the battery out for 30 seconds and all that trouble-shooting shit, to no avail. So Heather bought me a little pre-pay phone that I've been using ever since. I'm eligible for an upgrade on my phone on July 2nd so I'll get a new one then.

Okie dokie, well, I guess I've covered just about everything for now. Until next time, That's All Folks!

There's Good News, and Bad News

Oh my lawd!...I've been wanting to write for a long time, but I can never find the time. I really don't have time right now, but I'm sacrificing something more important so that I can get this out of my system. Plus, I just really don't feel like doing homework right now.

Guess what I got to do Tuesday (6/14/11)?  DRIVE MY CAR!!! I got it back from the shop that night. It's amazing. It's still old, beaten, and battered...it's still mine though! AND NOW IT RUNS!!!  I'm super excited. Tonight, Heather and I took it to a car wash and cleaned it out. There was quite a bit of trash and whatnot in there. Then she vacuumed it and washed it and put polish on it and sprayed it with a spot-free rinse! It's rusty in places, dented up in places, missing paint in places....but the spots that don't fall into any of those catagories are shiney!

All in all, it recieved a new (used, but new to us) motor, a new clutch, lots of new gaskets and whatnot, fresh coolant, oil, fuel pump, and a full tank of gas. Now I'm going to slowly start to take care of all the other mechanical crap it needs. I know it'll need a tire rod soon and I'll find out what else when I have the money to actually get it done. Once I'm confident that it's in almost perfect condition under the hood, I'm going to focus on cosmetic stuff. Eventually I want new carpeting, new seat coverings, dents popped out, and a paint job. This will be a very long process, but someday I'll have a bad-ass car!

I've got exciting news in another area of my life too, but I'm going to keep that hush-hush for a bit longer. I never know who's reading this and there are certain people that don't need to find out this very sensitive information right now.

I'm behind in school again. Go figure. It's not too terribly bad, though. I have 5 problems due Monday night and I haven't started yet. 5 problems may not sound like much, but this is statistics. 1 problem takes an hour to do and takes up a whole fucking page! I'll get it done. Before Monday evening.

I was ecstatic to learn that Deathly Hallows pt. 2 tickets went on sale yesterday. Unfortunately, not finding out about it until today means I lost the opportunity to get tickets to the midnight show, which means I don't even want to buy tickets in advance. I'll just wait until the middle of the week or something when I know tickets won't be sold out. I was even counting down the days. No need now. :-(

I'm worried about the kids. I haven't seen them much lately and it's killing me. I went to pick them up today just to drop them off somewhere else. They didn't want to stay there. They both cried and wanted to come home with me, which, of course, made me cry too. Baileigh doesn't seem as affected by it as Jacob. That kid breaks my heart. He's so...I don't even know. I'm just really worried. They need me. I need them. And we don't get enough time together. I hate it. hate it hate it hate it!

Jacob is out of his medicine. William said he's going to call to see if Edith will call in a new prescription for him, but I know she won't without him going in for a visit because his meds are controlled substances. I'm not really sure what that means, other than they can be sold as street drugs. The Adderall is an amphetamine. High dollar stuff to a junkie, I guess. The problem is we still have a balance at EFC where Edith is, so they won't set him an appointment without a payment. The balance is $380 and there's a $52 co-pay per visit. So we would probably need to make a $150 payment on the balance plus the co-pay. I don't have $200. 

I had every intention of paying that off when I got my school money, but I had to pay other doctor bills that were going to collections agencies and would affect my credit and whatnot. At least EFC is lenient as far as that goes, but I know they want their money too. I guess I should call tomorrow and see what the minimum I can pay is. I get paid next Friday and I only have 2 bills due. That should leave me with about $100 that I can give to EFC. 

I'm suddenly very sleepy. I haven't been sleeping worth a shit lately. I even got up last night and went to the couch, hoping I'd be more comfortable. No such luck, though. I'm gonna get off of here and go to bed. Nighty-night!

*sniff* this is beautiful

Heather recieved this in an email and read it to me. I was so touched that I couldn't resist sharing it with others...

When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood.. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

 

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.

"Information, please" I said into the

mouthpiece just above my head.

 

 

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

 

"Information."

 

 

"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough

now that I had an audience.

 

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

 

" Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

 

 

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

 

"No,"

I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

 

I said I could.

 

 

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice..

 

 

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.. I asked her for

help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math.

 

 

She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

 

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called,

 

 

Information Please," and told her the sad story.. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

 

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, " Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

 

 

Somehow I felt better.

 

 

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

 

 

"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?"

I asked.

 

 

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend very much.

"Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I

somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me..

 

 

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

 

 

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

 

 

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.

 

 

"Information."

 

 

I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying,

"Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

 

 

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

 

 

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any

idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

 

 

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me.

 

 

I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

 

 

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

 

 

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

 

Three months later I was back in Seattle .  A different voice answered,

 

"Information."

I asked for Sally.

 

"Are you a friend?" she said.

 

 

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

 

 

" I'm sorry to have to tell you this ," She said . " Sally had been working part time   the last few years   because she was sick . She died five weeks ago."

 

 

Before I could hang up, she said, "

Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?" "

 

Yes." I answered.

 

 

"Well, Sally left a message for you.

She wrote it down in case you called. 

Let me read it to you."

 

 

The note said,

"Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.

He'll know what I mean."

 

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.  

 

 

 

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others..

Me (short & sweet)

I'm gonna make this as short and sweet as possible...

car is still being worked on. possible set-back, engine may be v-tech, which is pretty impossible and excruciatingly expensive to find. I seriously doubt it is a v-tech though so I'm not worried. debbie ran the VIN just make sure we had all the info correct because the guy who works on honda's wasn't there friday. when the info came back from the VIN run, it said the motor was a v-tech. it's not. i promise.

kids are good. nothing to report.

school money came in! good news: i got most of my bills caught up.  bad news: every cent is gone. :-( 

i went to walmart tonight with the intention of buying a few new clothes since i own 2 pairs of pants and was disgusted with myself when i couldn't fit into the cutest top i've ever seen. so...i am, again, on a weight-loss rampage. of course i don't see it lasting even a week, but for tonight, i'm dedicated.  

hey, at least i admit my flakeyness.

bella's having another "on" night. the howling and whatnot. it's been a while since she was like this. i thought the season had passed. babygirl is doing really good with her crate training. she's had a few accidents, but i really think that's heather's and my fault because babygirl does go sit by the back door when she needs to go out, but if we're not paying attention, she says fuck it and shits where ever she pleases. eventually i'm sure she'll get to where she whines or barks or something, but for now, we'll just have to watch her better.

i've enjoyed my weekend because, for the first time since i started school, i finished my homework on friday morning. oh yeah. you read that right. go me! next week i'm sure will not go as smoothly. i have a lot of shit due and a lot of it is team shit so i'll have to deal with that.

the countdown has begun to the final HP. part 2 of deathly hallows comes out at midnight on july 15 (39 days). i'm sure the excitment will build gradually, as it always does. it'll help when tickets go on sale and i battle the other dorky losers for the first showing. can't wait!

not much else. it was pretty short and sweet right? no? short, but not sweet.   well, here...sugar.   how's that?

Car, Camping, Curt...and other non-C letter stuff

There’s been lots going on these last few days…

I talked to Regina (the aunt who I was going to beg to help me with my car) last week. When I was telling her about the quotes I got from the repair shops, she wrote down all the info from Ridgetop Auto and took it upon herself to go talk to them. I guess she liked them because she called me back the next day and told me to get my car up there. I never even had to ask her to help me. She just jumped right in and took over. I was surprised, but thinking about it now, I don’t know why. I know she’d do anything in her power to help me, just like the rest of my family. I guess the fact that we’re not close in proximity anymore made me forget that we’re still close in our hearts. I’m a little ashamed of myself for ever doubting it.

Anyway…Debbie said my car should be ready in about a week. She said to expect 10 days, but that’s allowing for something to go wrong, which she doesn’t foresee happening. I’m soooo excited. I know that having my car fixed will allow me to look for a better job farther than within walking distance from my house. The closer to home, the better, but I’ll take what I can get at this point.

Friday, Heather and I loaded up the chirrens and we went camping at Paris Landing State Park. It was most awesome! I love camping. I had never even been before last summer when Heather took me. The suckiest part is not being able to sleep in because it’s too damn hot. So we had to get up before 10 or else die of heat stroke in the tent. I was really worried about Bai’s asthma so I took the nebulizer and my stethoscope to keep it in check. We also got a sample Advair in addition to her rescue inhaler, just in case. I listened to her breathing before we left and she had very slight wheezing on the right side so I gave her a couple of puffs on the inhaler and a benedryl. That night I took her up to the bath house and gave her a breathing treatment. Saturday she was still wheezing a little so I gave her puffs, but then Sunday she was perfectly clear. I was so relieved. I just knew she’d be sick as hell being outside in the heat for days and around that camp fire constantly. I’m so glad she didn’t get sick and got to have fun. We went fishing a lot. Bai didn’t fish much. I guess she just doesn’t get into it. Jacob did though. He caught a few. More than me, I think. Heather was catching bass left and right. I like fishing, but I don’t care what kind of fish I catch. It could be a 10lb. bass or a tiny little sunfish…either way is as exciting as the other. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. We ate s’mores. We swam in the river, which was rough because of the storms we’ve had lately. The waves felt like ocean waves. Bai was too scared to get in, which is really weird because normally she’ll swim around a pool in her little arm floaters no matter deep it is. I guess the waves scared her. And Jacob, who normally won’t get in the deep end of a pool, was floating out in the river like a professional surfer. He kept saying, “I’m riding the waves!”  It was really cool. We came home Monday and after Heather and I got the kids dropped off and got the truck unloaded, we passed out. We fell asleep around 4:30pm Monday afternoon, woke up long enough to take the dog out and eat, went back to bed, and didn’t get up until time to get ready for work on Tuesday. Oh we were so tired.

Yesterday morning I got into it with Curt. I was talking to Heather about getting my car fixed and his stupid ass chimes in with “You’re putting way too much money into that car.”  Say what?!? I told him that there’s no such thing as too much money for that car because of the sentimental value it holds and he says, “and you wonder why you come up short” meaning financially. I started to tell him that the reason I come up short is because he pays me shit money and doesn’t schedule me any hours, but I caught myself and walked away. After that, I was so pissed I was hoping he would say something else to me. I dare him. Where the fuck does he get off telling me anything. It’s none of his business what I do with my money, first of all. Second, if I could afford a monthly car payment, maybe I would re-think fixing the Honda, but I can’t. Third, I’m not even the one paying for the car to be fixed. Granted I’m paying Regina back as much as I can as often as I can and then all of it when I get my income tax refund, but for now, it’s not my money. Fourth, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, ASSHOLE! What concern is it of yours? Just sign the damn paychecks and shut the fuck up.    Oh, and then in the middle of lunch I had to refill the lettuce bin and he says, “you should fill one and put it down below in the morning so that all you have to do is grab it.”  Ya think?  You stupid son-of-a-bitch, I do that every morning. The same way I’ve done it every morning for the past year and half. We’ve been busier lately so we’re using that back-up bin before lunch is over. So I had to re-fill it during lunch. When he said that to me, my reply, with as much attitude as I could muster, was “I did that. We used it.”   I hate him.

Today was exhausting. Lunch was busy as hell and Heather put me on the make unit, which basically meant that the pace of the entire lunch rush rested on my shoulders so I had the pressure of keeping up. Plus it was about 500 degrees in there. Everyone was gone by 2 so that left Heather and me to finish cleaning up. The good news, though...Curt wasn't there today. He came in and opened the store this morning and then left for the day. I don't know where he went, but I'm glad he was gone. We were slow in the evening so Heather and I got some shit done for in the morning since we open. I am so tired. With a capital T. Tired.

My friend's mom, the one who was in the hospital, is doing much better. She had a collapsed lung and underwent a successful surgery. She's home now and Nichole is in much better spirits. She's dealing with drama, as always, in her personal life. But that's nothing new and I secretly look forward to hearing about what's going on this time, for entertainment purposes. It's always something. Some guy, or a few guys. Her cousin. Her mom. Another guy. A pregnancy here and there. Soap opera writers should take notes. I love the shit outta her, though. She's so much fun when she's in a good mood. We laugh hysterically at stupid shit and get in trouble for "having too much fun." I sure am gonna miss her when I finally find something else.


I've been calling a few of the places where I put in applications. The mapco down the road, within walking distance, is hiring for 3rd shift. I'm interested, but I need to seriously think it over because that would totally fuck up my sleep pattern and possibly hinder time I could spend with Heather. It would be good for the child care situation, though. They could stay here with me all day. Of course I'd kill them because they would keep me awake. But I could spend time with them when I wasn't sleeping. Maybe I need to look into a 3rd shift job. I think the stockers at Wal-Mart make pretty good money. Hmmm....


Welp, I reckon it's high time I got offa here. I'm gonna find something to snack on and then hit the hay. Or something like that.

Deuces!