I'm feeling better. A lot better. I'm such a roller coaster.
I'm relieved to be better able to focus on assignments for school. I don't know what was wrong with me for a little while. I just couldn't make myself do what I needed to do. I have one more week of my current class, which is really two weeks because next Monday is Labor Day so we're out. I'm excited about my last team assignment. It should be fun. The instructor I have now is very...unstructured...I guess. She doesn't really like powerpoint presentations so she encourages us to find more creative ways to present our assignments. For this week, we're supposed to pick a problem and determine two main decisions that need to be made to solve it. One of my teammates suggested the idea of a couple trying to decide whether to buy a house in the suburbs or rent an apartment in the city. I threw out a few of the issues that the couple would need to consider and we decided to present using a role play activity. So I'm going to be a real estate advisor and inform the couple of the pros and cons of each option. One teammate will be the one in favor of the house and the other in favor of the apartment and we'll show the decision making process through acting it out. Neat, huh? So, yeah...feeling better about school. For now...lol
Work is ok too. Lorenzo is on vacation right now and the manager we have in his place is turning out to be pretty cool. I didn't like him at all at first. He's a big black guy named Conrad. The first couple of days he was there, Lorenzo was trying to show him around and give him a run down of how we do things in our store. Those days, Conrad just sort of stood around and observed so I got the impression that he was lazy. Then when Lorenzo left for vacay, Conrad stepped up to the plate and he's doing awesome. I won't say that he does more than Lorenzo because I really don't know what all Lorenzo does, but Conrad does do things more efficiently. There's more organization to everything and stuff gets done quicker. Normally I feel like I don't have enough time to do the things that have to get done before I leave and lately, like today, I was walking around looking for shit to do. Part of that could be that business is slow. Extrememly slow. But even if things had been busier, it would have been more orgnaized than I'm used to. There's not as much prep going on during the lunch "rush" anymore. I'm wondering if Lorenzo is coming back. He mentioned to me that he wasn't planning on it. I guess we'll see.
My Bai has been sick quite a bit lately. A couple of weeks ago she and Jacob were both kinda sick, coughing and fever. They went to the doctor and it was just a virus, no biggie. Well then Josh got sick. He had croup, pink eye in both eyes, an ear infection, and some other viral infection all at the same time. Poor baby. He's feeling better now, but Bai is sick again. This time it's an infection in her throat. There are little pus pockets all over the back of it. She got sent home from school yesterday because of it. Her temp got up to 101.6 at school. William took her to the doctor today and they gave her some antibiotics. I'm just glad it's not strep. If there's anyone with strep within a mile from me, I get it. I avoid that shit like the plague.
Jacob is acting weird again. He seems depressed sometimes. Not always, but often enough to bother me. Sometimes I feel like I might have done or said something to upset him because when I ask him what's wrong, he doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't say that; he just says there's nothing wrong, but obviously there is. And then when I tell him that if something's wrong, he can talk to me about it, he just says "I know" and goes on about his business all mopey. I know that his medicine can cause depression as a side effect, but I wouldn't go as far as to say he is actually depressed. Most of the time he seems perfectly fine. I don't know. I can't wait to get the doctor bills paid off so he can go back and see Edith (to check on the meds) and Gayla (just to talk).
Speaking of paying the bills off, that should be happening very soon. I'm anxiously awaiting my refund check from my student loan. I'm going to pay off both my and Jacob's accounts at EFC. Bai still has an ambulance bill I've been paying on that I'll be able to take care of. There are a few other bills that need attention and then my car needs some minor work. The idle air sensor control valve doohickey thingamabob needs replacing and I need a new tire rod. I'm pretty sure that's it for now, but I'll have good ol' Ridgetop Auto give the whole thing a once over just in case. I need to take the car through emissions testing, which it'll fail until I have the thingamabob fixed, so that I can get a temp tag until I can pass emissions and get a permenant one. My shit expires today. Oh crap! For some reason I thought I had more time. Damn, the end of the month just crept up on me. Well I get off work early tomorrow so I'll go then and just hope I don't get pulled over on the way there.
Heather and I are doing really well. I know I don't talk about her much and that's mostly because our business is our business, but the fact that I'm happier with her lately than I've been in a long time makes me want tell people how happy I am. Our biggest problem was that I wasn't putting enough of myself into the relationship because I was (unknowingly, or accidentally, or something) putting too much of myself into other things. She said something one night that finally made me see things from her perspective, which I had been failing to do since we got together. It was a comment that she had made countless times before, but for some reason it hit me that night and I changed what I needed to change. We're sooo much better now. What I've been thinking was us just not being compatible was really just me being stubborn and blind. She's no saint or anything, but since I've come around about what I needed to do, she's putting more effort into things from her side too. I'm happy.
Jacob's birthday marked my two year anniversary with Heather. At the time, I couldn't afford to do anything for her to celebrate. Anticipating my school money, though, I've been making plans for an awesome gift for her. I won't say what yet, just in case she happens to read this, but it's gonna be AWESOME!
In a few weeks Heather and I are going to Pigeon Forge (I think. Maybe Gatlinburg? Something like that) with her mom and stepdad. They were planning a trip up there and asked us to come along. I haven't really spent time with them in forever. We did get to hang out with them for a little while last time we went camping, but the past several times Heather has gone to West TN to visit them, I haven't been able to go. It'll be nice. I hope we get to see Jace, Heather's baby nephew. I haven't met him yet. He was born on Easter. He's a cute baby, but not in a cute baby sort of way...lol
That's pretty much my life right now. Nothing really going on. No big issues to stress over. I'm sure that'll change in time because that's what life does. Ups and downs. But for now I'm just enjoying being able to relax. That's right, I said relax. In fact, when I close this up, I'm going to play a video game. Then I'm going to attempt to cook dinner and have it ready right about the time Heather gets home from work. It's breakfast stuff: sausage links, bacon, eggs, biscuits...but I'm a really lousy cook. In fact, I think I'll let her do the eggs because I still haven't mastered frying them. I can scramble them all day long, but even that I don't do the way she likes them. She likes them light and fluffy. I like mine to be kinda browned in places. So, yeah, she can cook the eggs.
I'm gonna sign off. Don't know when I'll write again because I never know when I'll have time. So until then...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Not Right Now...
I want to write about all kinds of shit, but I just can't right now. I don't have the energy. I feel myself getting depressed and I know the logical steps to take in order to prevent it, but I don't have the strength. Not right now.
There are things I want to do, but I can't right now. Writing is one of those things. And the really fucked up part is, writing is usually what I want to do when I can't do the things I need to do. *deep sigh*
Maybe later.
There are things I want to do, but I can't right now. Writing is one of those things. And the really fucked up part is, writing is usually what I want to do when I can't do the things I need to do. *deep sigh*
Maybe later.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Oh, you know...the usual
I have GOT to start writing more often.
My mood has been pretty upbeat lately, I think. I find that I live in the now. When I'm in a good mood, I don't really acknowledge ever being in a bad one; and vice versa.
This past Monday was the last day of my Foundations in Biological Psychology class. That class kicked my ass. It wasn't difficult and there wasn't too much work. It was interesting material. I'm just really tired. The statistics class before this one is where the trouble started. I got behind in that class and ended up not even turning in my last assignment, allowing myself to get a 'C' which is unheard of for me. Then when BioPsych started, I was still in a funk and I got behind in there too. The only assignments that I turned in on time were the 3 team assignments. All of my individual ones were late, which caused deductions in scores, which causes a lower grade than I like, but I deserve it. I haven't gotten my final grade for that one yet, but I know the highest it can be is a high 'B'. I have become quite the slacker! My next class is Cognitive Psych. I am going to really really really try to do better in here. I'll have a new instructor. Kellye Somethingorother. We'll see how that goes.
The chirrens start school this Monday. We had to go meet their teachers and I had about 6 pages of shit, front and back, to fill out for each of them. They both seemed nice, but they're supposed to. Jacob's 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Jones, seemed nice at first too. She turned out to be a complete bitch. She would send notes home every day saying that Jacob had done something else wrong. He was constantly misbehaving. So William wrote her a note back saying to send him directly to the principal's office for a paddling for every offense. She continued to send notes home, but never sent Jacob for a paddling so William wrote her back and told her that if she wasn't going to send Jacob to the principal like he suggested, then he didn't want to hear about all the acting up Jacob was doing. Her response was that if she sent him for a paddling every time, then he'd get paddled several times a day. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, LADY!!! If he realizes that he'll get his ass busted any time he acts out, then he won't act out. This argument went on for the better part of the school year. Mrs. Wilson, his 2nd grade teacher, was much better. She was very patient and softspoken, but eventually Jacob got the better of her and we had a conference. That was when we decided to take him to be evaluated and explore the possibility of medication, which turned out to be a fabulous idea. William and I were both soooo against that for the longest time. It has really helped though. Mrs. Wilson said that the first day Jacob walked in her classroom after starting his meds, he was like a completely different kid. He was paying attention, not bothering other students, participating in class, and following the rules. I must admit that being around him when he's missed a dose can be...difficult. Hopefully he'll get through this year without getting in much trouble. Last year he was suspended once and suspended from the bus several times. Jacob's my genius child and Baileigh's my angel child. Well, not angel, but not horrible either. She never got in trouble last year. She was sick a lot though. I think this year will be better.
Bai has an appointment tomorrow morning at Vanderbilt's Asthma and Allergy Clinic. Maybe we can figure out exactly what causes her flare ups and do a better job at preventing them. I have gotten a lot better at noticing symptoms earlier. We've been able to keep tabs on it before it gets too bad. Her last little episode was on July 4th and it wasn't really bad. She was mostly faking, which she has started doing for some reason. Attention probably. I'm smarter than she is though. I have a stethoscope. I know if she's really wheezing or just panting like she can't breathe. We've told her over and over not to fake that. I told her the story of the little boy who cried wolf and explained to her what it meant. I told her that if she keeps doing that then one day she'll really be very sick and we won't believe her because she lies about it so much. She hasn't done it anymore since, but then it's only been a month.
Work is work. It's ok. I'm still not loving it, but it is getting more tolerable every week. Lorenzo is trying to teach me Espanol. So far, besides counting to 10, I can say "I don't know," "large," "medium," "a little bit," and "Lorenzo is my friend." Those are all pretty obvious ones that most people know anyway. I really want a Spanish for Dummies book. I used to see those books everywhere. Math for Dummies, Cars for Dummies, Painting for Dummies, you name it...Dummies could do it. I haven't seen a ...for Dummies book in forever. Of course I haven't been to a bookstore in forever either. That's one of my favorite pasttimes. Hanging out at Books-A-Million, like the dork that I am.
Speaking of me being a dork...Harry Potter was awesome. The move. Not the experience. That was horrible. The line to get in stretched twice around the equator and then they let me skip most of it since my ticket was the first showing, but then when I called Nikki and Heather and told them to come on up to the front because they were letting early shows in first, they wouldn't let them in so I sat in the theater for 6 hours by myself while they waited in line. Then, because they didn't let the rest of the early shoes in first and people were still wrapped around the building, they had to wait until everyone got in before they started the movie. So whether you had the 12:01 show or the 12:45 show, they all started at the same time, which was 2 hours late. Of course I'm exaggerating a little bit, but that's what it felt like to me. I was more than a week late starting my period so my hormones were completely out of control and I was a mess. After I laid across the seats I was saving for Nic and Heather and cried until they came in, we watched the movie, which was most awesome. Then, the dumb fucks had 2 of the 3 exits from the parking lot blocked and were directing traffic from 3 directions out one exit. I was so ill. I got out of the car and went to bitch at the manager of the theater. I raised hell until the cops converged on us and then I left the building ranting and raving at the top of my voice, using every bit of profanity instilled in me. When I got back to the car, I couldn't stop fuming so I took off walking. By this time I had pissed Nikki and Heather off with my outrageous attitude and they reluctantly picked me up when they finally got out of the damn parking lot. I swore off Hollywood 27 that night. I will never, under and circumstances, return to that god-awful excuse for a movie theater. I MISS YOU, OPRY MILLS! It's pretty fucked up that THE MOVIE I've waited 6 years to see, the most awesome of the HPs, is overshadowed by the horrid experience I had that night.
Jacob's birthday is in 18 days. We're having the party in 16. I have 2 weeks to plan. This sucks. Actually, the planning is not what sucks. I already know pretty much what I want to do. I just don't have any money. I made a budget for the rest of the year, with every cent accounted for. However, my stupid ass forgot about the b-day party so I didn't factor that in. I would ask William to help, but he got ALL of their school supplies and clothes so that wouldn't be fair. I'll have to re-do my budget. No biggie.
Well it's nearing 7pm and I need to get off my lazy ass (I don't really believe I'm lazy. If I was lazy, I'd have more time to write.) and go get dinner. Until I find the time again....
My mood has been pretty upbeat lately, I think. I find that I live in the now. When I'm in a good mood, I don't really acknowledge ever being in a bad one; and vice versa.
This past Monday was the last day of my Foundations in Biological Psychology class. That class kicked my ass. It wasn't difficult and there wasn't too much work. It was interesting material. I'm just really tired. The statistics class before this one is where the trouble started. I got behind in that class and ended up not even turning in my last assignment, allowing myself to get a 'C' which is unheard of for me. Then when BioPsych started, I was still in a funk and I got behind in there too. The only assignments that I turned in on time were the 3 team assignments. All of my individual ones were late, which caused deductions in scores, which causes a lower grade than I like, but I deserve it. I haven't gotten my final grade for that one yet, but I know the highest it can be is a high 'B'. I have become quite the slacker! My next class is Cognitive Psych. I am going to really really really try to do better in here. I'll have a new instructor. Kellye Somethingorother. We'll see how that goes.
The chirrens start school this Monday. We had to go meet their teachers and I had about 6 pages of shit, front and back, to fill out for each of them. They both seemed nice, but they're supposed to. Jacob's 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Jones, seemed nice at first too. She turned out to be a complete bitch. She would send notes home every day saying that Jacob had done something else wrong. He was constantly misbehaving. So William wrote her a note back saying to send him directly to the principal's office for a paddling for every offense. She continued to send notes home, but never sent Jacob for a paddling so William wrote her back and told her that if she wasn't going to send Jacob to the principal like he suggested, then he didn't want to hear about all the acting up Jacob was doing. Her response was that if she sent him for a paddling every time, then he'd get paddled several times a day. THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, LADY!!! If he realizes that he'll get his ass busted any time he acts out, then he won't act out. This argument went on for the better part of the school year. Mrs. Wilson, his 2nd grade teacher, was much better. She was very patient and softspoken, but eventually Jacob got the better of her and we had a conference. That was when we decided to take him to be evaluated and explore the possibility of medication, which turned out to be a fabulous idea. William and I were both soooo against that for the longest time. It has really helped though. Mrs. Wilson said that the first day Jacob walked in her classroom after starting his meds, he was like a completely different kid. He was paying attention, not bothering other students, participating in class, and following the rules. I must admit that being around him when he's missed a dose can be...difficult. Hopefully he'll get through this year without getting in much trouble. Last year he was suspended once and suspended from the bus several times. Jacob's my genius child and Baileigh's my angel child. Well, not angel, but not horrible either. She never got in trouble last year. She was sick a lot though. I think this year will be better.
Bai has an appointment tomorrow morning at Vanderbilt's Asthma and Allergy Clinic. Maybe we can figure out exactly what causes her flare ups and do a better job at preventing them. I have gotten a lot better at noticing symptoms earlier. We've been able to keep tabs on it before it gets too bad. Her last little episode was on July 4th and it wasn't really bad. She was mostly faking, which she has started doing for some reason. Attention probably. I'm smarter than she is though. I have a stethoscope. I know if she's really wheezing or just panting like she can't breathe. We've told her over and over not to fake that. I told her the story of the little boy who cried wolf and explained to her what it meant. I told her that if she keeps doing that then one day she'll really be very sick and we won't believe her because she lies about it so much. She hasn't done it anymore since, but then it's only been a month.
Work is work. It's ok. I'm still not loving it, but it is getting more tolerable every week. Lorenzo is trying to teach me Espanol. So far, besides counting to 10, I can say "I don't know," "large," "medium," "a little bit," and "Lorenzo is my friend." Those are all pretty obvious ones that most people know anyway. I really want a Spanish for Dummies book. I used to see those books everywhere. Math for Dummies, Cars for Dummies, Painting for Dummies, you name it...Dummies could do it. I haven't seen a ...for Dummies book in forever. Of course I haven't been to a bookstore in forever either. That's one of my favorite pasttimes. Hanging out at Books-A-Million, like the dork that I am.
Speaking of me being a dork...Harry Potter was awesome. The move. Not the experience. That was horrible. The line to get in stretched twice around the equator and then they let me skip most of it since my ticket was the first showing, but then when I called Nikki and Heather and told them to come on up to the front because they were letting early shows in first, they wouldn't let them in so I sat in the theater for 6 hours by myself while they waited in line. Then, because they didn't let the rest of the early shoes in first and people were still wrapped around the building, they had to wait until everyone got in before they started the movie. So whether you had the 12:01 show or the 12:45 show, they all started at the same time, which was 2 hours late. Of course I'm exaggerating a little bit, but that's what it felt like to me. I was more than a week late starting my period so my hormones were completely out of control and I was a mess. After I laid across the seats I was saving for Nic and Heather and cried until they came in, we watched the movie, which was most awesome. Then, the dumb fucks had 2 of the 3 exits from the parking lot blocked and were directing traffic from 3 directions out one exit. I was so ill. I got out of the car and went to bitch at the manager of the theater. I raised hell until the cops converged on us and then I left the building ranting and raving at the top of my voice, using every bit of profanity instilled in me. When I got back to the car, I couldn't stop fuming so I took off walking. By this time I had pissed Nikki and Heather off with my outrageous attitude and they reluctantly picked me up when they finally got out of the damn parking lot. I swore off Hollywood 27 that night. I will never, under and circumstances, return to that god-awful excuse for a movie theater. I MISS YOU, OPRY MILLS! It's pretty fucked up that THE MOVIE I've waited 6 years to see, the most awesome of the HPs, is overshadowed by the horrid experience I had that night.
Jacob's birthday is in 18 days. We're having the party in 16. I have 2 weeks to plan. This sucks. Actually, the planning is not what sucks. I already know pretty much what I want to do. I just don't have any money. I made a budget for the rest of the year, with every cent accounted for. However, my stupid ass forgot about the b-day party so I didn't factor that in. I would ask William to help, but he got ALL of their school supplies and clothes so that wouldn't be fair. I'll have to re-do my budget. No biggie.
Well it's nearing 7pm and I need to get off my lazy ass (I don't really believe I'm lazy. If I was lazy, I'd have more time to write.) and go get dinner. Until I find the time again....
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